You are beautiful, LOVED and Cherished beyond comprehension!!! You are Divine!!!
Much Love and Light, today and always!!!
You Are the Miracle!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
Childhood Memories
On Facebook there is a post going around where some people are changing their profile pictures to 80’s cartoon characters. This is to help others to be aware of child abuse. I was one of them, because I thought what a great way to spread awareness, and a really fun idea which I am sure brought up a lot of childhood memories. Then the thought occurred to me, how many homes throughout the world have been affected by some form of abuse? There are many homes and families where there is a history as far back and further back then you can possibly imagine. Those deep, dark, family, “secrets” that “we don’t talk about!”
Truth be told if they were talked about a lot of people would have gone to jail, lives would have been changed, and long cycles would have been broken. The question is now put before us do we sit back and let it continue? The answer to that question is emphatically, NO. I can tell you that in my own family growing up there were those family secrets that nobody talks about, until somebody does.
During my adolescence I became aware of the “secrets” of my family ancestors, a history of incest and abuse. Many family members ended up on antidepressants some even attempted and did commit suicide. The belief system was women were meant to please the men, and that women/girls were merely objects for men’s pleasure and learning.
I also grew up with the belief that if I made wrong choices that God would punish me and not love me and that he would turn away from me. I had very low self worth for most of my life. I absorbed those lies/untruths that I had come to believe myself for a long time; I also thought that some other person could decide my value or worth. I am not saying that my childhood was filled with abuse; I have very loving parents who raised us the best they knew how.
We did however have a Grandfather who could be a little too friendly. There were some inappropriate things said and done, things that are not what you would call normal. My mom and my aunt were both sexually abused. For the most part though, my sisters and I had a really fun childhood. We were very creative and had a lot of fun together singing, dancing, making up plays and skits, pretending we were Charlie’s Angels or the Mandrell Sisters.
I bring this up because we have a choice, either allow things and situations that happened to us in childhood control or dictate who we are, or who we are to become, or to learn who we really are from a higher place, from one who knows us more than we even know our selves and who loves us unconditionally. As I said before I believed that if I was not perfect and did not “do” things perfect, God would punish me and he would remove himself from my presence. I have come to know that this is entirely untrue. He is always with us; we are the ones that block ourselves from him, feeling unworthy of his Love, and as though he will punish us. He is always there just waiting for us and his Love for us is truly unconditional. I am choosing not to let my past define who I truly am. You see what we do and the choices we make are not who we truly are! We are so much more!! This is my story, my healing and, Just One Woman’s Perception!
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
My Perception on Life's synchronicity!
I have heard it said that there are no accidents, and that everything happens for a reason. I believe this to be true! I am now looking closely at the things that are going on in my life and recognizing the synchronicity that is taking place. Just the other day I took my oldest son to the store to purchase some new shoes. A person never quite knows what might happen when they step out their door to run some errands. To me it can be like comparing the unknown of the day, to waking up as a child on Christmas morning. The anticipation the not knowing, and the wonderment of the gifts under the tree, just waiting to be opened. Life is filled with these gifts from God! After my son purchased his shoes we left the store and drove to Wal-Mart to finish our shopping. While there my son picked out a package of socks to go with his new shoes. Then we continued over to the grocery side of the store to pick up a few needed items. When we reached the vegetable aisle there was an older woman standing in front of the canned vegetables she had a cute little girl with her riding in the cart. The little girl was writing down the price of green beans. My son asked the woman if the girl liked math. She said “yes she does, in fact she is a genius when it comes to math!” She then proceeded to tell us that the girl was her granddaughter and that she had Asperger’s. I told her that my son also has Asperger’s and was diagnosed with it while he was in the 5th grade. We then discussed how they had both had been on medication. His psychologist thought it would be a good idea and we did not argue with her about it. About 6 months later we took him off of the meds because they were doing more harm to him than good. In hindsight we would not have put him on it at all but at the time we thought that we were doing what was in his best interest. I then told the women how I had deep feelings of guilt for a long time and thought that I had done something wrong and that my son was cursed because of it. I explained to her that it took me a long time to come to terms with this and to see things the way they truly were. My sons Autism diagnosis is a gift, not a curse or a disease! God does not curse us or punish us and I had not caused it! We had a wonderful conversation with the woman and her beautiful, gifted little granddaughter. I have no idea how long we stood there in that aisle and talked to the two of them but, it was great! My son later told me it was so relaxing to be able to talk to someone like himself. Later that evening my husband and I hurried out to take the Redbox movies back to the machine. There were only a few minutes before the deadline of 9:00. He pulled up as close to the machine as possible and I quickly got out of the car and ran up to the Redbox. There was a man standing there and he kindly told me I could go ahead of him. This man seemed strangely familiar to me but, I was not sure why. He then asked me what movies I was returning. Upon telling him the titles he said he did not know either one of the movies. I pointed to the sign and told him one of the movies was about a woman named Temple Grandin who was diagnosed with Autism. I then told him that my son had Autism Asperger’s. He then proceeded to tell me that he had Asperger’s. My thought was I have now met two people in one day who have the same diagnosis as my son. After talking with him for a few minutes I remembered why he looked so familiar. This was actually the third time in about 2 weeks that I had seen this man. The first two times were at my weekly stop at Goodwill to look for inspiring books. After saying goodbye to the man and wishing him a good evening I started thinking. Then, this idea came into my head about starting a support group, or friendship group here for people who have been diagnosed with Autism/Asperger’s. If anything, just to have others meet and get to know each other, to know that they are not alone! I am so grateful for this synchronicity and many more that have been happening in my life. This is my healing, my story, and just one woman’s perception.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
My Darkness turned to light
I was lost and in the dark
I thought I would fall apart
I was terrified felt worthless, and alone
Sitting in a pit of my own making
You reached down and took my hand
Your love surrounding me like a warm blanket of light
Oh such love filled my heart
You pulled me up and opened my eyes
I came to learn and realize, what an amazing world this can be
No more hiding in the dark, confused and torn apart
Now my body is filled with light and no longer so uptight.
The wonders all around me fill my soul with gratitude
Once there was only dark and now there is light
There was fear and now there’s joy
So much in life there is to explore
A message I implore, Freedom through, Faith, Trust and Love
You see love is all there really is
So open up your heart and let it in
Freedom, Faith, Hope and Love are sent from up above
So open up your heart and let it in
I wrote this a few months before my husband (Rob) returned home from a deployment in Kosovo in late 2008. It is an insight into my life and what I had created before and what I now know. Going through this allowed me to realize a lot of different things, for which I am truly grateful, and also showed me how special my angel children are and how to have a loving and more understanding relationship with them. In learning and growing I realize they have so much to teach me! I am extremely grateful for all of my experiences!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
My Perception on Blessings
Just the other day we discovered a glitch in the system of receiving my husband’s paycheck. Actually the glitch has been going on for some time now. He broke his foot 4 months ago. Ever since then we have been on work man’s comp. When on work man’s comp you do not get paid what you normally would if you are working full time and you never quite know when the check might arrive. We were not sure how things were going to work out. I am here to tell you though that there are blessings in all things. If I did not share this truth I would be remiss and ungrateful! You might look at it and say how can breaking a foot be a blessing? While, I do not wish the pain on my husband, or anyone else for that matter. There are many, many blessings that have been wrapped up in pretty packages during this time and many others and, given to us! First because of this we were able to go to our High School reunion and stay with family and friends for much longer than had been planned. We were also able to spend that time with 3 of our 4 children and have a very fun filled time together. I have also been blessed to be able to spend all kinds of quality time with my husband. We were also able to go to Tennessee only a month ago when my husband's father was taken to the hospital. Our time there would have been very limited had he not broken his foot. Through this time of having a smaller income, we have had everything that we need and more. You see I get to sit down and write this, reflect back and take notice of all the wonderful blessings we have received through this time. I had a set back and found myself going back to an old way of thinking for a little bit the other day. We had been waiting patiently for my husband’s work man’s comp check to arrive or at least find out when it might arrive. It was to be here last week around the time of normal payday. Thursday came and went and then Friday, no check and no signs of one. I sent some emails and made some calls to my husband’s payroll office to see if all the information was sent, it had not. Call it lack of communication or crossed lines or what have you. I am very grateful by the way, for the sweet woman at the office; she listened and made some phone calls on our behalf. After getting off the phone with her, I started to cry, and I started wondering how the bills would get paid and how we would survive until next week when the check is to arrive. Then I started to remember and reflect on all the blessings that we had already received and are still receiving. I know that everything will be okay, we will have what we need and, that GOD is the one who provides us with everything!! He is the one in control and I just get to remember that!! He showers us with his LOVE and Light every day, and every day I get to see and feel reminders of it! There may not be big $ in the account right at this very moment but, we are truly blessed, we have a roof over our heads, clothes to wear, food to eat, families LOVE and support and dear friends. I have the beauty and sounds of nature to enjoy on a daily basis! For all of these things I, we are truly blessed. I am also so blessed to know GOD does not put conditions on his blessings; he blesses us all the time, I, we just get to open our eyes a little wider and take notice of them all. This is my healing, my story, and, just one Woman’s perception.
Katrina Singer- Hill October 1, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
My Perception on Life!
What if I told you that there are things you believe to be true about this world and they are not? One evening in my young life changed my world forever. Things and people in my life have never been the same. I had a dream once that I was not from this world. Who I truly am, is not who I thought I was at all. In this dream I was a princess from a different world. I came here to learn and teach what true unconditional love is. Loving people for who they truly are and not for whom we think they are or even who they think they are. In my dream I was helping others to get home. You see you are not from here either, you are very special. Only you don’t yet remember who you are much like I didn’t, and I am still learning. A part of the plan is to come here and learn without remembering who you really are. Wandering around in a state of amnesia, trying to navigate your way through life’s lessons, and games. Then through numerous different ways, sometimes when you feel like you are lost and going in circles. Questioning the very reason you are here. Feeling as though you are cracked, light starts to seep through those cracks and this light is filled with the deepest love a love like you have never experienced before in this life. This in turn brings with it remembrance. Reminding you little bit by little bit of who you really are, and what your purpose is for being here. When this begins to happen your world as you knew it begins to change. You start to see and feel things how they really are. You no longer feel dead and empty inside. When you look at the sky, you no longer see just the sky. Looking at another person you start to see the real them and the light that is emanating from their very being. They are not the person you judged them to be, they are so much more. Peering in the mirror you no longer see that same reflection that you have become so used to seeing you see your own light that was once hidden from you. Many times I have looked at my own hands, and felt so much energy flowing through them, seen the light and colors around them ,and coming from them. I see the energy particles swirling in the sky on walls and in the air. Did you know that there are also lights around birds and animals this includes insects, they are so beautiful! This world is not dark and hard and painful, the way most believe. Quite the opposite this a beautiful alive ,light filled, joyful world just waiting for us to open our true eyes, ears, and hearts and live in Joy, peace, love, and equality. We all have a choice to live in our own self created darkness and hell, or to live in light, peace, a Heaven on Earth.
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